In memory of Rosalee Eng

am deeply swallowed in sorrow in this silence, I feel I too had died, can do nothing, simply waited. I felt am a prisoner of this extreme discreteness and prayers became even more difficult to utter in such a block-out. Shall I find rescue in the word that Our Lord uttered “Blessed are those who did not see yet believe?” Forgive me my Lord, but now there is a rebel that is beginning to eat me. The kind that is more corrosive… INDIFFERENCE, I don’t care or perhaps REJECTION OF TRUTH. In this foggy road, in as much as I want to accept, I find it difficult…am deeply tortured. Help me my dear classmates to pray for my unknowing state seemed to push me in the abyss, in the world that shouts to me “YOU DON’T BELONG, BACK OFF!!!”. Death is far more tame and easy to accept than rejection. May the Lord give me the humility to accept things that is not within my control…. May you rest in peace, our sweet classmate PINKY (Rosalee Eng Doctor). You far more belong to God now than to anyone else. —Sept 4, 2012


96km, thanks to the kindness of a friend, it was a smooth drive. I descended, wondering why am alone. The relatives mentioned names I know so well, trying to find the link…are they at a lost too that I am by myself? I went close to where Pinky is laid. I prayed with my arms stretched to her. Then I sat down and her brother spoke to me… Once again same names were mentioned to insinuate the connection of my presence…in sadness I find it difficult to say no… Then I ask when the interment so the rest of my classmates would be delivered from the unknown… with no hesitations I had the reply… I left trying to understand… is death so difficult to face that upto the last moment find ourselves lost in a maze… May we all find the strength to see her again it is the last respect, we can give if respect is indeed what is wanted here… Nothing to be intimidated of, that is what I witnessed last night. –September 7, 2012

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